I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
