its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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