I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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