walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
