a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
