All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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