I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
We named our party play list daddy issues
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
