Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
