Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Drake has all the answers
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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