His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
