She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
