Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
