It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
