Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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