im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
