The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
