ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
