I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
