so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
