no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
