is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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