we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
