dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
