Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
