it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
