I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
