After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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