i permit you to call me
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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