A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
