White coat. Heels.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
