let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
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