you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
