Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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