the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
