HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
