yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
