hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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