I got her a Nickelback box set.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
