my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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