Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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