Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
this is an emotional support booty call
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize