the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
When are your genitals available?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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