Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
