I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
