It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
We smell like vodka and hangover
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