Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
