I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
