OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
