BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
