I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
