That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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